Monday, August 19, 2013

empty nester

 It's official. I'm an empty nester. Tim was packed up and ready to go last Friday.
This is the only house he's lived in his whole life. This was his bedroom for over 22 years.


I didn't particularly like seeing this truck in front of our house.


 The poor cats were so confused as to why Tim's room was empty. Sorry for the
poor lighting quality. As you can see, this room is rather dark. And still has the
original carpeting! I have big transformation plans for this room. :-)


 At one point on Friday morning, I walked into the back yard and saw this beautiful
swallowtail on the butterfly bush. I took it as a sign that all will be well.


After a couple of hours of last-minute packing, getting everything into the truck, 
then driving 1-1/2 hours, we reached Tim's new house. The mom and perfectionist
in me immediately wanted to start pulling all those gigantic weeds in front, trimming
the bushes, and putting a big pot of bright flowers on the porch! Tim said, "Mom, this
isn't a parent's house." He's right - you can definitely tell young people live there!


We got all Tim's furniture and boxes moved into his new room and Tim immediately
started on reassembling his desk.


MoJo, one of Tim's roommate's dog, had to check out what was going on.
He kept sniffing us and all the boxes. I'm glad there's a sweet dog in the house
because Tim's going to miss our kitties. At least he'll kind of have a pet.


Brian had to go back home early so he could return the rental truck, and I stayed
behind and took Tim grocery shopping. Got him set up with the basics - now he's
on his own! We also went to a nearby bank so he could open an account. We
then went out to dinner at a casual, little mexican place that we found, I dropped
him back at his new house, then said my goodbyes. I didn't even cry. I've had
some anxious moments since then, but I'll be OK. I was just texting with Tim and
he sounds happy. That's what we want for our kids, right?

On Saturday, Brian and I took advantage of the beautiful day stretched out before
us and took a walk in the State Park. One good thing about living in the Midwest in
the summer ~ the landscape is so lush and beautiful.


I have no idea what these purple flowers were, but I love how we suddenly came
upon a field full of them.


I couldn't believe the tons of lily pads in the lake - you could barely see the water!


And even though I'm familiar with the site of lily pads, I had never seen a water lily
until now. They're so beautiful, they barely look real.


After our walk, we had a light picnic lunch ~ veggies and hummus, cheese and
crackers, grapes and an apple. It's weird to think it's just the two of us again after
25 years of children being in our house, but...here's to a new chapter in our lives!



32 comments:

  1. Funny, your blog came up first on my blogroll and I'm the first to comment just as you were with my last post!

    Very neat to see Tim's house, yes, I would really want to trim those bushes! It's not a bad house at all compared to some I saw when my boys went to Eastern.

    Going on the picnic and walk was a great idea, a time to connect instead of being alone with unsettling thoughts. You ARE going to be fine! :)

    XO,
    Jane

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I'm sure there's a lot worse when it comes to college houses! There's a little part off to the left where the driveway is, with another entrance. That's the one they use. Thanks for your encouragement! :-)

      Delete
  2. It looks like Tim as a very nice house. Our Daughter was the first to move out. She was still single at the time and than five years later our Son moved out when he got married. Now there has just been Hubby and me for the last twelve years. It was sad, but a new beginning for us old married folks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right, Betty - it's a new beginning for us old married folks! We've been married almost 29 years. Hopefully, we still have many years ahead of us.

      Delete
  3. I know this sad and happy both. You may forever be an empty nester but you never know, mine have moved back home after being on their own, one moved home multiple times.

    That is impressive you have lived in one home all of Tim's life.

    I do hope Tim gets a great education at this school and has a good time too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's hard to say what Tim will do once he graduates in a couple of years. He may stay there and finish his Masters, or he may stay there and get a job, or...he may move back in with us! I'm glad we've stayed here so many years. I moved 6 times when I was growing up. Thanks for your well wishes for Tim!

      Delete
  4. Like Rhonda, I had one come back a few times. I remember before Jess left for college, I had a short moment of panic, wondering just what did Greg and I do with our time before kids? LOL. My best to Tim that college goes great and to you and Brian as you figure out your new "normal".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Tammy...and now look at you and Greg, here you are grandparents and your house is full once again! :-)

      Delete
  5. You two will have sooo much fun, and do tell what your plans for the empty bedroom are!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It will be a guest room, but that disgusting carpet is coming up and hardwood floors put in, and the room will be painted. I also have some interesting artwork to hang on the walls.

      Delete
  6. Melanie,
    Great times lie ahead for the two of you-you always have such a great attitude and as my Mom would say "The best is yet to come!"
    Happy Hugs,
    jemma

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Melanie,
    I know the feeling of emptiness when the kids move, especially when you pass by their bedrooms. But I promise you'll soon begin to enjoy this empty nest stage. As a friend said to me when our children moved out...the fact that they can live on their own means you've done your job as parents well!
    I know what you mean about the weeds and wanting flowers...we will always be Moms!! And that's a good thing.
    Mary Alice

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like that Mary Alice (what your friend said to you)...you are right! If our children stayed at home forever, that just wouldn't be "normal", would it? They're supposed to leave the nest, as hard as it is for us parents!

      Delete
  8. I love the picture of the confused cats! I know mine would be the same way.

    Have fun and enjoy your new space.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now the cats pretty much stay out of that room. I wonder if they miss Tim?

      Delete
  9. yeah for Tim entering this new phase of his life!! I know you are proud of him. There is bound to be some empty moments but knowing you, you will be busy tweaking your home and garden! Enjoy!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, there's plenty to do around here to keep me busy! :-)

      Delete
  10. Big hugs to the three of you.
    Balisha

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi Melanie,

    Tim is already setting up house! He's going to have a ball and now that he is out of YOUR BALLpark, you can make yourself feel better with some decorating therapy - just as you plan on doing! My first bout with empty nest syndrome was when my daughter, Libby spent her first year of university in Toronto. I had a very difficult time then and needed to see her just 3 months later, when I flew to Toronto to spend Christmas with her! Now, she is living there, as you know. I miss her terribly, but am so grateful that she is working and happy and having fun!

    Thanks for sharing!

    Poppy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your words of comfort, Poppy. It does help to know that our "child" away from home is thriving and happy. I just talked to Tim earlier today and he sounded really good. :-)

      Delete
  12. I've been an empty nester for a long time. You'll be fine.
    Brenda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure I will, Brenda. It's just hard to go through at first.

      Delete
  13. Ack! I'm sure it's totally weird to have his room empty. I don't know how I'm going to handle my daughter leaving. She only has one more year of college and then off she goes.

    I'm sure it'll take some time to get used to having him gone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The hard thing is, you don't know how you'll handle it until it actually happens! And then you'll have "experts" like me to help you along, lol.

      Delete
  14. Thinking of you as you navigate this new chapter - best of luck to your son. Have fun with that now vacant bedroom!

    xo
    Claudia

    ReplyDelete
  15. It takes getting used to, at least it did for me. I had a far harder time than I'd thought I would when Katie left home, but it feels very right NOW three years later! As for the cats, Misu missed Katie until about six months ago and then all of a sudden she decided she was MY cat. Poor Misu, she had to choose the allergic parent to become the cat of, lol. I have to pet her a bit then run indoors to bathe off all the spots she touched.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yeah, it's funny, Terri...Brian thought he'd be the one having a hard time and that I'd be OK, but it's turned out to be the opposite! I'll get my Tim fix tomorrow when we go to visit him. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. The purple flowers this time of year is Ironweed, a butterfly favorite. I know it's tough to adjust to the empty nest. Mine has been empty for years, but I still miss them! But it's nice to forge a new relationship, more like friends than parent and child. And before you know it, you'll love the empty nest!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for letting me know what those purple flowers are, Robin! And thanks for the reassurance on the empty nest syndrome. :-)

      Delete

I read and appreciate every comment!