Tuesday, September 29, 2015

six years

This past Friday ~ September 25th ~ was the six year anniversary of my oldest son, Philip's passing. Those of you who've known me for awhile know his story. For those of you who don't, I have a Dedication to Phil tab underneath my blog header. In the meantime, here's a photo of my sweet boy from when he was around 14 years old. I had this photo on my computer and it's not dated, so unfortunately, I can't remember exactly how old he was in this photo. He had the sweetest, gentlest, shy smile.


As usual, Brian, Tim and I spent part of the day at the cemetery. It's a beautiful, peaceful place ~ more like a park setting. It's one of those cemeteries that only allows the flat headstones and there's plenty of trees. Most of Phil's ashes are in an urn which is buried at the foot of my dad's grave. Brian keeps three folding chairs in his car trunk so we parked ourselves by Phil's burial spot and sat and talked for over an hour before we went out to dinner. 


As we were leaving the cemetery, I noticed the stunning cloud formation above us and took a photo. It wasn't until I got home and uploaded the photo to my laptop, that I noticed the cloud was in a heart shape with a crack down the middle. WOW. How's that for a sign?


Now, if you'll indulge me for a moment, I'd like to share some words with you from a newspaper column that I just read this past Sunday.  It's from the September 27, 2015 edition of the Chicago Tribune. A man named Matthew Walberg wrote an article called, "What 9 Years Since My Son's Death Have Taught".

"I am not without hope, and I know I will see him again someday. But who knows when that day will come, so I've had to learn a lot about grief in these years - or at least learn a lot about how I grieve. I've learned that you don't get to practice how you'll handle something like this....

I've learned that life can be fun again, and I can laugh and enjoy it. At the same time, grief is like a giant block of granite: The sharp edges may have softened with the passing years, but it remains as hard and as heavy as it was the day it first crashed into my life. But I've discovered that sorrow has its own beauty. It brings depth and context to all the blessings in my life."



18 comments:

  1. I knew as soon as I saw the blog post title on my blog roll what this post was about. Does it get any easier as the years pass?
    Brenda

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  2. Thinking of you my dear. Today we were at the WW2 beaches in Normandy, France. At the American cemetery there was a ceremony and Taps were played - we shed a tear for these thousands of long departed young men - death is is so final and grief never goes away I'm sure. Love to you and your family.
    Mary -

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  3. Those clouds are stunning. I am sure it means something and it makes me feel better for you. Love and hugs to all of you.

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  4. Amazing words from you and the article. Thinking of you and sending hugs your way. xx

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  5. Thinking of you, Melanie. So glad the three of you were able to spend the day together. I won't say I know how you feel, but I know my parents said 'No parent should outlive their child' when my brother died. The cloud formation is simply stunning. Know that I'm thinking of you and yours. Peace to you.

    xo
    Claudia

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  6. Melanie, I am thinking of you this evening and I have said a prayer for you and your family. As you stated, Philip had a sweet and gentle smile. To say I know how you feel would be an untruth because each person's pain is such a personal thing. We lost our son-in-law on September 18 and he was buried a week ago today. Our family members are all suffering because we loved him so dearly. My daughter is in such pain. She and the children will never be the same. I honestly have not felt like posting anything to my blog for quite some time. I wrote a post last evening for the first time in a long time. It was about my sweet son-in-law. May God bless you and your family, sweet Melanie.

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  7. Such a loss is never easy but I hope the years make it less painful. Sending hugs!
    Linda

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  8. Melanie, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. I cannot even imagine...I think it's wonderful that you spend the day with him each year. Clearly, the heart is way of saying that he was there, too. I am sending you hugs and hugs and hugs. xo

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  9. I'm so sorry, Melanie. The words you've shared with us are very touching. And I think the cloud you saw was surely a sign that he knew you were there and grieving. Hugs, Cheryl

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  10. The anniversaries are hard, as well as birthday's', holidays and every other day they are not with us. We will be with them again for this I am sure. In the mean time we must enjoy life smile and laugh as we would do if they were here.

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  11. I can't imagine how hard this has been for you and your family, Melanie. You honor his memory, by speaking openly and trying to prevent this from happening to others. I am glad you can keep his sweet smile in your heart...and the cloud heart is beautiful.

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  12. Six years already. I'm sure you will grieve forever. My best to all of you. Hugs.

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  13. So sorry! This has to be so hard on you and your family but hopefully your story will help some other Mother's child. Prayers for you all.

    Judy

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  14. Melanie, I am so very sorry for your loss. The quotation above from the newspaper is beautiful. My thoughts are with you and your family. Fiona x

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  15. The article was well written and I know describes exactly how you feel. It's lovely that the three of you are able to commemorate Phil by spending time at the cemetery together. Hugs and blessings, Tammy

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  16. The cloud formation was a gift from God to you! My heart aches for the three of you on this anniversary.

    May lives be touched and saved by your telling so candidly about Phil.

    That article spoke to my heart and I have saved it to use myself.

    Love, hugs & prayers ~ FlowerLady

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  17. My thoughts are with you. I know that you and Brian have a loving family which helps you get through this day each year.

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  18. Those last sentence were so well written, it describes things perfectly and I feel for you.

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