a hard time of year for many

 This past Saturday, December 19th, my "baby" turned 25 years old. I know it sounds cliche, but I really can't believe my youngest is that "old". He's starting his last semester at university and will be graduating with a BFA degree in Photography in May. He's not one to toot his own horn, but he brought home some of his 24"x36" prints this past weekend and I was honestly blown away by them. His photography talent is incredible. I can't wait to see where his passion and education take him in life.

It seems especially so this year that people are expressing on social media and blogs how sad they are this Christmas and how they just don't feel joyous and cheerful like we are "expected" to be this time of year. The reasons are varied, but seem mostly due to the loss of a loved one. I know Christmas will never be the same for us due to the loss of my oldest son, Philip six years ago. And all I've received lately is bad news...another young person's death, severe health issues and surgeries, and people battling depression.

In my online readings, I came across some articles on coping with grief during the holidays, as well as one on the holidays being hard for other reasons. I've listed the articles below. If you're suffering, I hope you can find some helpful advice in one of the articles. I most likely won't be posting until after Christmas, so here's hoping yours is blessed in some way. Remember to take time for yourself. Breathe. (We forget to do that!) Be good to you!

10 Ways to Cope with Grief During the Holidays

10 Ways to Work Through Grief Triggers During the Holidays

6 Steps to Surive the Holiday Season After Loss

If the Holidays are Hard for You, Doing These Four Things Could Really Help

six years

This past Friday ~ September 25th ~ was the six year anniversary of my oldest son, Philip's passing. Those of you who've known me for awhile know his story. For those of you who don't, I have a Dedication to Phil tab underneath my blog header. In the meantime, here's a photo of my sweet boy from when he was around 14 years old. I had this photo on my computer and it's not dated, so unfortunately, I can't remember exactly how old he was in this photo. He had the sweetest, gentlest, shy smile.

As usual, Brian, Tim and I spent part of the day at the cemetery. It's a beautiful, peaceful place ~ more like a park setting. It's one of those cemeteries that only allows the flat headstones and there's plenty of trees. Most of Phil's ashes are in an urn which is buried at the foot of my dad's grave. Brian keeps three folding chairs in his car trunk so we parked ourselves by Phil's burial spot and sat and talked for over an hour before we went out to dinner. 

As we were leaving the cemetery, I noticed the stunning cloud formation above us and took a photo. It wasn't until I got home and uploaded the photo to my laptop, that I noticed the cloud was in a heart shape with a crack down the middle. WOW. How's that for a sign?

Now, if you'll indulge me for a moment, I'd like to share some words with you from a newspaper column that I just read this past Sunday.  It's from the September 27, 2015 edition of the Chicago Tribune. A man named Matthew Walberg wrote an article called, "What 9 Years Since My Son's Death Have Taught".

"I am not without hope, and I know I will see him again someday. But who knows when that day will come, so I've had to learn a lot about grief in these years - or at least learn a lot about how I grieve. I've learned that you don't get to practice how you'll handle something like this....

I've learned that life can be fun again, and I can laugh and enjoy it. At the same time, grief is like a giant block of granite: The sharp edges may have softened with the passing years, but it remains as hard and as heavy as it was the day it first crashed into my life. But I've discovered that sorrow has its own beauty. It brings depth and context to all the blessings in my life."