Tuesday, December 22, 2015

a hard time of year for many

 This past Saturday, December 19th, my "baby" turned 25 years old. I know it sounds cliche, but I really can't believe my youngest is that "old". He's starting his last semester at university and will be graduating with a BFA degree in Photography in May. He's not one to toot his own horn, but he brought home some of his 24"x36" prints this past weekend and I was honestly blown away by them. His photography talent is incredible. I can't wait to see where his passion and education take him in life.


It seems especially so this year that people are expressing on social media and blogs how sad they are this Christmas and how they just don't feel joyous and cheerful like we are "expected" to be this time of year. The reasons are varied, but seem mostly due to the loss of a loved one. I know Christmas will never be the same for us due to the loss of my oldest son, Philip six years ago. And all I've received lately is bad news...another young person's death, severe health issues and surgeries, and people battling depression.


In my online readings, I came across some articles on coping with grief during the holidays, as well as one on the holidays being hard for other reasons. I've listed the articles below. If you're suffering, I hope you can find some helpful advice in one of the articles. I most likely won't be posting until after Christmas, so here's hoping yours is blessed in some way. Remember to take time for yourself. Breathe. (We forget to do that!) Be good to you!








18 comments:

  1. Merry Christmas to you and your family!

    Judy

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  2. Happy belated birthday to your son! It's bittersweet watching them grow up, isn't it? Missing those babies, but so satisfying to see what they become. The holidays aren't joyful for many people. You're so kind to offer the links that might be helpful. Wishing you peace this Christmas, Melanie!

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  3. Thank you for sharing, Melanie...wishing you love this Christmas xoxo

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  4. You've really opened your heart here, Mel. I pray you find joy this Christmas with all of your family and especially Brian and Tim. You are one of the strongest people I know.

    Love to you,

    Jane x

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  5. Melanie, thank you for sharing this. As I'm in the midst of losing my only brother I am aware that next year I will be dealing with these memories. Its hard to look at others being joyful and happy and I'm not, but I don't resent it for think badly of them, its my grief not theirs. Wishing you a Merry Christmas with your loving family.

    Linda

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  6. Happy birthday to Tim. I have also been hearing of a lot of sickness lately and sudden unexpected deaths from family members of friends. It seems the older we get, that's the way it is. Or it's always been that way and we just notice and feel it more. Sending big hugs and many blessings to you for a joyous holiday. Tammy

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  7. I wish you peace and happiness during the holiday season, Melanie, and know you must miss your son with all your heart. I hope you share some of Tim's photography with us- maybe in the form of a framed piece for your home! I'm taking a moment to breathe right now before the chaos takes over.

    Thank you for taking the time to research the helpful articles and I wish you a happy and healthy Christmas!

    xo, Vickie

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  8. Mary Christmas, Melanie. I understand the bittersweet feelings of joy mixed with grief and sadness that the holidays can bring. Sending you a wish for peace and joy this Christmas!

    xo
    Claudia

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  9. Melanie I wish you peace this season and wow, 25!! It goes by so quickly, doesn't it? I wish him great success as he enters his last semester.

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  10. I cannot believe Tim is 25 either. My Nick turned 32 last week. I HAVE A KID WHO IS IN HIS 30S! Anyway, Happy Birthday to Tim.
    I still get sad during the holidays, missing my parents, and wishing they were here to join their grandchildren and great grandchildren in the fun. I wish comfort and peace for all who struggle. It's an especially hard time when you're feeling a loss.
    I wish you and yours a lovely Christmas!

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  11. This post really spoke to me. I'm one of those people who this time of year is hard for. I don't want to get into all the details, but I completely understand how you feel. Not much I can do, I know we all just try to make the best of it. Take care, I hope you have a Merry Christmas!

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  12. It's very nice of you to share these articles, Melanie. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family, with comfort and peace for all of you. Happy birthday wishes to Tim too. Take care and enjoy.

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  13. ((((Melanie)))))
    Such a loving post from such a loving soul. Thank you for the gift of you. I pray you know peace and feel the love this Christmas. May God Bless you and your family here and in heaven. Much love to you.

    Kim

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  14. My best friend just lost her husband. I feel for her and for you. Looking a child , I can't even imagine. Many hugs for you.

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  15. This is so True and your Links will be Valuable to anyone who suffers during the Holiday Season. With The Man suffering from Traumatic Brain Injury and having a Teen Grandchild I'm raising that suffers from Serious Mental Illness and his younger Sister who is also a Special Needs Child, it can be a very Stressful and Overwhelming time for them so we attempt to Simplify things and keep a measure of Order and Organization to their Normal Routines along with all of the Holiday Activities. Blessings to you and a Merry Christmas from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

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  16. I am not grieving this holiday season, but I will say that the entire season has lost its luster for me. It started when I worked at Kohl's all those year, and had no time left to enjoy my own holiday. But it also has to do with my children being too busy to visit us at the holidays, and that's why I don't bother decorating. We see them in Detroit, thank goodness, but then it turns into someone else's holiday terms, not mine. It is what it is, I'm fine with it, but I sure have to fight people at every turn who simply cannot BELIEVE that I don't have a Christmas tree. Have they never heard of being yourself, and making your own decisions? Seriously, I have to explain myself constantly!

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  17. Dear Melanie what a wonderful post to remind us that this time can be painful for others ..I know that my DIL, who lost a baby at four months years ago struggles with this as do you and so many others. I remember years past with my grandparents and miss them so / to have lost a child as you did is the most horrible grief imaginable.

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  18. I hope you are enjoying every moment with your family these holidays. Loss sure changes things. Sending you hugs, Melanie.

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