I have to admit - I'm not good with change. I like routine. Predictability.
I'm sure a lot of people feel this way. It makes one feel safe and comfortable.
But I also know that in certain cases, change can be good. It gets us
out of our rut. Makes life a little more exciting. Gives us a new perspective.
For me, change comes in little ways. I'll try a new dish at a restaurant. Or,
I'll get a little braver with my hair color - a bit darker or more highlights.
My husband, Brian has been out of town at a work conference the past few days.
I know this isn't a big deal to some of you, as having a spouse or partner out of town
for weeks - or even months at a time - is your "normal". But in my little world, even a
few days is unsettling. In Brian's line of work, he rarely travels. So I'm used to
having him home from work every evening. We have dinner, we play a board game
such as Backgammon or Rummikub, we take our evening walk around the
neighborhood, we watch Wheel of Fortune. Boring? Perhaps.
Comfortable and predictable? Absolutely.
I'm an introvert, so I've always relished my alone time during the day. I have my
daily routine, do some housework and laundry, run errands, work on projects,
go to appointments, meet with friends. But evening and nights are a different story.
I like Brian here by my side. Where he's supposed to be and usually is. It made me
think of how it would feel if he passed away and wasn't here anymore
forever. I guess it's natural that those thoughts go through my head...we're in
our early 50's and Brian's mom passed away when she was only 51. And my
mother became a widow when she was only 57 (my dad was 63). We've already
lost a son ~ so I'm well aware of how death can snatch a loved one away when
they're way too young.
Before I get too doom and gloom on all of you, I'm happy to say that Brian's
on his way home right now. I will make chicken enchiladas for dinner and we'll
play Backgammon, take a walk, and watch Wheel of Fortune. All will be comfy
and "right" in my little corner of the world again.
Bonus? Tim is coming home from university for a visit this weekend!