Monday, May 13, 2013

who believes in you

 We all have our support systems ~ family, friends, coworkers...perhaps neighbors
or those that are in a like-minded group we belong to. Those who support us and
believe in us, no matter the path we choose.

But there's nothing quite like the love and support of mom - if we're blessed to
still have our mom in our lives. I'm still blessed to have mine, and as a lot of the
world chose to celebrate Mom yesterday on a "Hallmark holiday", I enjoyed a visit
 with my beautiful mother at her house. She just got home from a two-month
 stay in Kentucky, taking care of her 97-year old father who suffered a heart
attack. She is always willing to jump in her car and travel eight hours to take
 care of her dad, putting her own needs aside. That's just one of the things I love
 and admire about my mom!

 And, as a mother myself, I've always believed in my two sons. One of the things I
always said to them was, "The world is your oyster and you are the pearl." Very sad to
say though, that my oldest son, Philip believed in everyone but himself. Some of you know
that he suffered with depression and God-only-knows whatever other mental demons
and that despite all the love, support, and help we could find and muster, ultimately it
was drugs and alcohol that took Phil's life at the tender age of 21.

 (Phil, me, Tim ~ 2008)

My youngest son, Tim, who is now 22 thanked me yesterday for my patience 
(patience - me?!) and belief and support in him. And I got a couple of long, hard
hugs from him. What more can a mom ask for? He told me that this card said everything
that he was feeling. I was moved to tears.

 My "baby" will be moving out in just seven weeks ~ renting a house with his cousin
and a few other young people ~ and attending university which is a 1-1/2 hour drive away.

 Even though this will be a hard adjustment for both of us, I know we'll both be fine.
 Because I believe in him and he's going to shine and grow and develop into
the most beautiful pearl I've ever seen.


  1. This is very sweet, Mel. You are truly loved. I don't like to hear that this is a Hallmark Holiday, it's been around far too long for that. I love that you have your mother and that she is a friend as well. I think you get your generous, kind and caring qualities from her.

    I hope you enjoyed your day...I love the pictures!


  2. What a lovely Mother's Day card from Tim! We wish him well as he ventures forth :)

  3. Wow - Tim's card made me cry, too. Wishing him the best in his new adventure - he'll do great! If you want any empty-nest support, lmk.

    1. Thank you, Tammy ~ at least you have your precious grandchildren to keep you company sometimes! :-)

  4. Beautiful Melanie with some tears too. So sad for you in the death of your son. Look forward to hearing more about the new life your younger son is embarking on.
    Happy Mother's Day. May sweet memories touch your heart . . .

  5. Hi Melanie;
    Thank you so very much for sharing the circumstances of your beloved Phil's struggles. I have often wondered about his passing. I too have had a double tragedy in my life and it is so very painful, even tho many years have passed. Phil is now at peace and will live in the your heart and that of your family's. You are such a blessing to me, and I wish you the Happiest of Mothers Days! Let the Son shine thru. Love and hugs, Nana

    1. Nana, you are so sweet. Thank you for your lovely words and being so compassionate. Can you send me your email address, if you see this message? I can't find any way of contacting you when I click on your name.

  6. I never knew the love of a mother, and in hindsight I think that has hindered me in many ways when it comes to relationships and trust. I'm sorry about your son. I know the depression part, and it's a deep dark hole no one wants to fall down into. It's truly a day at a time. You can do everything you can think of to help someone. But you can't take the darkness away. We are alone and blind to the light that might be shining right down on us, but with depression a veil thrown over you, we often cannot see it well enough to find our way back to you. An incredible loss, Melanie. And I'm sure Mother's Day is as difficult for you as they come.

    1. Yes, Mother's Day is a mixed bag of emotions. I know you understand depression and I'm sorry that you do. I just sent you a personal email. xoxo

  7. Hi Melanie, Mother's Day must be terribly bitter-sweet for you. I'm so sorry for your loss, but happy that you can still find some joy in the day. Best wishes to Tim as he ventures out on his own.


  8. Such a touching post.

    I can't believe your mother was taking care of her 97 year old father - good genes in your family!

    I wish you and your son the best with his move. I was a basket case when my son went away to college - a 6 hour drive and before cell phones.

    1. I definitely have longevity on my mom's side of the family! So far, I "think" I'll be OK when Tim leaves...

  9. Melanie, This is a lovely post. What a blessing to have a son who appreciates all you've done for him. I'm sure the loss and pain of losing your oldest will never leave you. Depression is such a complicated serious illness. My husband lives with the heartache of losing a younger brother because of this often misunderstood illness.
    Mary Alice

    1. Thank you for your heartfelt comment. You are certainly right about depression. Your poor husband...I always feel so badly for Tim for no longer having his brother here with him.

  10. Melanie,
    A lovely tribute to your entire family-you come from such a strong and beautiful Mother! I am so happy to see a picture of her! What an amazing woman she is - you are as well. Depression is indeed a demon, but once again the patience that you hold in your heart, the love, kindness and energy are pearls of your own and your goodness shines brightly through your smile and eyes!

  11. Hi Melanie,

    Your son loves you so very much, and SHOWS it! That must feel truly amazing; nothing like it on this earth. Your mother looks like such a sweetheart; it seems this trait runs in the family! Thanks for sharing these photos. You are a very strong and courageous lady!



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