women supporting women

Hi friends ~ I know it's been awhile since I've written a blog post. It's been a busy month for me and I'm also consciously working on limiting my time online and on social media. I find that's much better for my peace of mind and anxiety.

This month has been filled - gloriously filled - with the company and encouragement of my women friends.

There have been coffee dates, patio-sitting/talking, gatherings around backyard fire pits with smoked maple bourbon and wine (separate events; we're not total lushes 😉) and...

a trip to a local pumpkin farm.

I belong to a women's circle where we meet at the start of every season. For the past nine years that I've been in this circle, there has been nothing but love and support for one another. We have all bared our souls to one another, have seen each other through divorce and loss and grief and illness; caring for elderly parents and relocation and job loss and problems with children. We have cried together and held each other while doing so. But oh...the laughter and the love. That is what sustains us.

When I told this circle of women that this week was going to especially hard because of a dentist appointment (I have dental phobia) but much more importantly, because of my son, Philip's death anniversary date on September 25th, I have received an outpouring of love and support via text and/or email every single day this week. 

The difference these messages have made in how I'm coping this week are nothing short of amazing. At first, I was hesitant to share my needs with this circle of women. I'm not used to doing that. I don't want to impose on anyone and I've never been one to like a lot of attention. I'm more the quiet one in a group (I'm an INFJ) and used to absorbing everyone else's energy and emotions. I guess I finally felt safe and secure enough to share what I needed without feeling too vulnerable.

I currently am seeing a female physical therapist for a medical condition. She is not only super intelligent in her field and has helped me physically, but she is super compassionate. When I explained to her at my visit today about what happened at my last physician's appointment, she was appalled. She actually told me that she wants to accompany me (if she can rearrange her schedule) to my next physician's appointment (it's a minor procedure) since she knows a bit more about my physiological condition than they do. She wants to be my advocate. Can you believe it?! Talk about going above and beyond the call of duty! I did call the physician's office today and get permission for her to accompany me to the appointment, due to COVID. 

The world is so topsy-turvy right now. COVID, hurricanes and wildfires, the upcoming election, riots and protests, police brutality: all have taken their toll on our mental well-being. Anxiety and depression have sky-rocketed in our country. We all need each other ~ and to meet each other with love and compassion ~ more than ever. 

I am incredibly grateful and humbled by the love of my friends, including the friends I've made here through my blog. 

Women supporting women.

💓

getting by and happy holidays

Everyone is familiar with the lyrics from "With a Little Help From My Friends". It is so true, isn't it? Friends that we've known since childhood, friends that we've met in our neighborhood, friends that we've met online, friends that we've met in book clubs or yoga class or church or whatever group you may have joined: They are all precious to us and hopefully provide some of the spirit boost that we all need, especially at this time of year.

This was my first time meeting in person with these lovely ladies. (That's me with the light hair and glasses peeking out waaay in the back, middle.) As an introvert, totally out of my comfort zone to join a big group. In fact, I went home with a massive headache and swore never to join such a big group again, but it was incredibly lovely getting to know some of these ladies. Unfortunately, what we have in common is that we've all lost a child due to drugs. One of the women in this group has actually lost two children due to this horrible disease of addiction.

This smaller group of friends is more my speed. 😉 As always, I'm poking my head into the photo, on the left this time. About five women who normally join this group were missing, but we meet every equinox and solstice for a Women's Circle and dinner. This group of women are the most supportive and uplifting women that I've ever met. And we couldn't all be more different: married, divorced, widowed, straight, gay, lawyer, doula, yoga instructor, social worker, writers, office workers, business owner, moms of biological children, moms of adopted children, childless. The woman in the front, middle with dark hair and glasses is my First Best Friend. We met when we were three years old and still have a very strong bond. The blonde woman with the green scarf in front was my first yoga teacher who is now a good friend.

We've had the most beautiful weather here for the end of December...lots of sun and temperatures in the 40's and even low 50's yesterday.

Brian and I took time to recharge in nature yesterday with a walk in the State Park.
It actually smelled like spring out there, even though it was the first day of winter.

This was an accidental shot with my phone during yesterday afternoon's walk in the State Park. I didn't even know I took it until I looked through my phone's photos. I thought it was cool how I accidentally captured the moon and the sun at the same time.

Thanking you all for your friendship and love...I'm so grateful for all of you. May your holiday season be filled with peace, love, and blessings.

xoxo

who has your back

 The weekend started out wonderfully. My first best friend, whom I've known since I was just three years old, had her annual girlfriend's spring solstice dinner on Saturday. I always leave my house early to check out some of the stores in my friend's city neighborhood before going to her house. The city streets were crowded and I couldn't find a parking spot, so I parked on a side street and then enjoyed a long, brisk walk to the stores. It was so different walking amongst throngs of people and noisy streets full of honking cars and buses than the quiet country streets I'm used to. I enjoyed the change of pace for the time being, but I know I couldn't live in that kind of environment.

I went into a small Mediterranean grocery store and came out with all kinds of goodies: homemade pita bread, dolma (vegetarian stuffed grape leaves), tabbouleh, olives, eggplant dip, and spinach and feta stuffed pies. I also went to one of my favorite resale stores...I'm always more enamored with the architecture and ambiance of this place than what they have for sale. This resale shop is in a 1915 building that used to be a theater.

It was then on to the gathering of beautiful women and a lovely feast. We keep the food healthy and vegan and the wine and laughter (and sometimes tears) flow. Of course, being a gathering of women, we talk about anything and everything. It's a safe place to share intimacies and feel uplifted and supported by friends who love you unconditionally.

After getting home late and finally making it into bed, little did I know that the start to my wonderful weekend would change in an instant. Just two hours into my sleep, my phone rang. It was my son, calling me to tell me some bad news. I don't want to put the details of his news out on a public forum...he is fine physically, so no worries about that. But it was something that shook me up so badly, that I couldn't sleep. Especially when he kept calling me every hour to rant and rave and cry. He's had a tough 2016 so far with really crappy things happening to him. On top of it, hubby is having some genetic testing done today that might result in some scary news.

Sunday dawned and having had only two hours of sleep, I basically fed the cats, did some laundry and not much else. I stayed in my pajamas and read the Sunday paper. Mom surprised me by coming over in the afternoon to give me love and support. She stayed a couple of hours and it really helped. I felt better after she left. If you're reading this, thank you, Mom. 

On Monday, the sun came out and I took a walk around my neighborhood. There is something about the sunshine and fresh air that makes you feel a little better. Lilies and daffodils are making their way out of the soil, the lilac bushes are budding, and the robins are back, hopping their fat, orange-breasted bodies all over the place.

In the meantime, I received supportive messages from friends, and even an offer of help from a woman that I worked with years ago and see only one-two times a year. On the other hand, those whom I expected messages from never said a word. Funny how life works that way sometimes, isn't it? 

We met up with T last night for dinner at a restaurant halfway between our house and his residence at school. It was so good to see him and hug him and for the three of us to be able to talk in person. We reassured him that the three of us were a team and that we'd always have his back. The three of us have been through much worse: the death of our oldest son/T's brother back in September 2009. If we can make it through that, we can make it through anything, right?

 We also received a bit of positive news regarding the incident that happened to T, so all our hearts were a bit lighter.

I woke up this morning to find this message from my T on Facebook:

"Life has been kicking me while I'm down lately. But I am very thankful for all my friends and family that have been supporting me along the way, especially my parents. Without them in my life I would be nothing. When you think life is at its worst, just remember all the good things you have that other people might not."

Amen.

With gratitude for all my blogger friends, too. Thank you.

Sharing at Cozy Little House Tweak it Tuesday.

snippets of the weekend

I'm a little late...it's Monday night, but if the days rush as quickly for you as they do for me, I can hardly believe the weekend is over.

We had some mild, sunny weather again - hooray! Too nice to stay inside.

 We headed to a small, neighboring town for an art crawl and to walk around in the lovely spring-like weather. Best of all, I got to meet Ginene of Fox and Finch Antiques! She is even more lovely and sweet in person, if that's possible. She gave me a big, warm hug and expressed how nice it was to meet me. The three of us had a wonderful conversation. Her store is in an old bank building with a beautiful assortment of antique and vintage items. Silly me didn't think to have Brian take a picture of me and Ginene until we were in the car on the way home. So instead, you get a picture of Brian. ;-)

Brian found this in a vintage shop ~ read the bottom of the package. If you're missing a heart...

On Sunday, our travels brought us to Tim's place to visit with him...we all love his roommate's dog, Stanley. He's so sweet, obedient, friendly and full of personality. He's totally posing and smiling for the camera.

Sunday night, I met up with some friends at Chili's for drinks and appetizers. The young lady on the left, in the middle (aqua hoodie) was one of Phil's coworker-friends. I love that we still keep in touch. I never knew her mom (sitting behind me, with the long brown hair and glasses) until after Phil passed away. We've since become good friends.

A little something I picked up at Target...

First signs of spring in these parts! These are chives in my herb garden.

Mother Nature is such a tease. It's now snowing and sleeting. We're under another winter weather advisory and are supposed to get 4-7" of wet, heavy snow into tomorrow. March is coming in like a lion, for sure.

celebrations and shopping

This was the first year that I didn't take many photos of our Thanksgiving day celebration.

I managed to get a photo of the food spread after all the dishes were dug into - not very

appealing! But wow, did we ever have a spread at my sister's house: tortilla roll-ups,

 deviled eggs, and chips and salsa for appetizers; then turkey, ham, stuffing, mashed

 potatoes, sweet potatoes with  a maple syrup glaze, fruit salad, corn casserole, 
roasted Brussels sprouts with mustard vinaigrette, homemade rolls and cranberry sauce
 for dinner; and homemade pumpkin pie, brownies, and cookies for dessert. *groan*

I managed to sneak a photo of my niece getting her hair braided by her friend.

Four teenage girls sitting at the "kid's table" in the living room with their talking and 

giggling was so cute to hear by us adults in the dining room. When I tried several times

to take photos of the girls, they'd always turn their heads or put their hands up in front

of their face. And somehow I didn't even get a photo of my husband or son (who was

able to come home from school for a short 24-hour visit).

I did some online Black Friday shopping today (Christmas presents) and I also took down

 all of my fall decorations in prep for putting up Christmas decor. I have to drag boxes

upstairs from the basement and I'm not in any hurry, so all I managed to get done with

any Christmas decor today was to put a pillow on my couch. Ta-da! Oh - and that'd be

the latest fiction book I'm reading on the couch- Jodi Picoult's latest book, "Leaving Time".

 So far, I'm really enjoying it.

When Brian got home from work today, we had to run to Home Depot for a few

household items and I suggested we go to Old Navy and Ulta (right next door to each

other) to see their Black Friday deals - IF the stores weren't packed. We were surprised

to find that all these stores weren't any more busy than any other Friday night. Old Navy

had a huge sale where everything in the store was 50% off. All we were looking for was

pajama pants and flannel shirts for Tim. We were disappointed to find that the quality

of both of these items was terrible - the material was so thin and cheap. With the kind

of weather we have here in Illinois during the winter, warm pajama pants and flannel

shirts are a necessity. I'd rather pay a bit more for quality.

Tomorrow we'll be spending time with some friends and going to an outdoor

Christmas event - "Merry and Bright - a Downtown Holiday". Hope your weekend

plans include time for a little fun, too.

autumn goodness ~ dinners, friends, decor, and trees

Hello, friends! I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I know some of you living

in southern California are still experiencing hot temperatures. I sure wish I could

usher some of our cool - okay, and downright cold a couple of nights this week -

air your way. It's now mainly in the 50's during the day with maybe a 60+ degree day

here and there. We're pulling up the down comforter at night and Zippo has started his

cold weather routine of sleeping under the covers all nestled between us for warmth.

This past Friday night, I traveled into Chicago to attend a friend's annual fall dinner

party. I didn't want to get stuck in rush hour traffic going down there, so I left early and

hung out in a little neighborhood by my friend's house. I took a nice walk and stopped 

in a couple of shops. My first stop was Gene's Sausage Shop. I didn't buy anything, but

it was fun to look around. It's two floors filled with a butcher shop, deli, bakery, and lots

of European gourmet specialty products.

They had a pretty impressive wine section, too.

I ended up spending the most time at The Book Cellar - a great little independent

book store where I explored some pretty cool cookbooks.

And then ~ an awesome fall candlelight dinner with seven amazing ladies.

The soup that my friend made was out of this world. It warmed me from my

heart to my toes. It tasted like a rich (but it's not - no cream! In fact, it's vegan

if you choose not to top with goat cheese) bowl of creamy, earthy veggies. I can't 

wait to make it at home. 

My friend shared the recipe with me and I am sharing with you:

Winter Vegetable Soup

Recipe created by Lulu Powers--Madonna’s caterer)

For 6 servings

3 T olive oil

1 cup coarsely chopped onion

1 cup peeled, cored and coarsely chopped Granny Smith apple

1 cup peeled and coarsely chopped turnip

1 cup peeled and chopped butternut squash (seeds discarded)

1 cup coarsely chopped carrot

1 cup peeled, chopped sweet potato

** I also add 1 cup golden beets, peeled and chopped

5 cups vegetable stock

¼ cup maple syrup (I use half of that)

cayenne pepper (I use 1/4 teaspoon)

 optional: 1 small baguette, 3 oz. goat cheese

optional: ¼ cup fresh chives, chopped and sprinkled on top of soup

 Heat oil in large saucepan on medium-high heat. Add onion and sauté until translucent.

 Add apple, turnips, squash, carrot, beet, sweet potato and sauté 5-10 minutes. Add 

stock, bring to boil and simmer, stirring occasionally, about 30 minutes. Add syrup and

 cayenne peepper. Cool slightly. Puree with handheld mixer or blender.

If desired, toast slices of baguette and spread with goat cheese to float on soup.

******************

I really do have the most awesome and talented friends. I've been adding touches

of fall decor around my house and when some of those things are handmade, they

add so much more to a home, don't they? This beautiful tea towel was made by Penny

from At Home in English Garden.

She also gifted me with three autumn pillowcases. One was supposed to be for Tim, 

but I forgot to send it back to school with him while he was home this weekend. Oops!

As you can see, my master bedroom is done in light blue (and that is definitely going to

change in the near future - it's the next room to work on), so fall colors don't really "go"

in this room, but that's OK. I think the colors add a little warmth and "oomph" to the 

pale decor and besides, anything made by a friend deserves a very special place in

my home whether it matches or not!

I found some old Halloween lights when I was digging through my box of fall

decor, so hung those up around the fireplace...and I also added a very special

little something on my ladder bookcase. Do you see it? 

It's the cutest fall banner made by none other than Judy from 20 North Ora!

Talented and crafty Judy also makes burlap runners like this pretty bird themed one 

on my buffet. She also makes a lot of different pillows. Check out her etsy shop here.

  

Moving on to the kitchen...the shelves now carry a couple of cute ghosts and a

long ago thrifted autumn covered dish...

and the china cabinet got a makeover with owls and other assorted fall

goodies. The only thing "new" in this cabinet are the two little blue bird

salt and pepper shakers on the bottom shelf.

Aren't they darling? My mom was at my house one day last week and we went

to the new vintage shop in my town. This was all I bought ($4). Funds are tight and

I'm trying not to bring so much stuff into my house anymore. But these spoke to me.

Or chirped or tweeted or something like that.

 

Outdoor beauty...the maple tree across the street changes every single day.

I've been trying to remember to take a photo of it every day to document its progress.

From looking back at last year's photos, this tree should be at the height of its color

peek by mid-October. It turns a brilliant red, but it only lasts a few days. Next thing

you know, all the leaves are on the ground. So I'm savoring its beauty for a short while.

This is how it looks today.

 

And taking a walk around my neighborhood, this is a tree by a charming little house

on the next block. Not sure what kind of tree this is though. Oh - and this house is for

sale. Anyone want to move to northern Illinois and be my neighbor?

 

A few doors down from the house for sale - this mighty, brilliant oak.

 

As always, thank you for your visit and your lovely comments. They are always

appreciated and I reply on this blog to every one of them.