Thursday, September 24, 2020

women supporting women

Hi friends ~ I know it's been awhile since I've written a blog post. It's been a busy month for me and I'm also consciously working on limiting my time online and on social media. I find that's much better for my peace of mind and anxiety.


This month has been filled - gloriously filled - with the company and encouragement of my women friends.


There have been coffee dates, patio-sitting/talking, gatherings around backyard fire pits with smoked maple bourbon and wine (separate events; we're not total lushes 😉) and...


a trip to a local pumpkin farm.



I belong to a women's circle where we meet at the start of every season. For the past nine years that I've been in this circle, there has been nothing but love and support for one another. We have all bared our souls to one another, have seen each other through divorce and loss and grief and illness; caring for elderly parents and relocation and job loss and problems with children. We have cried together and held each other while doing so. But oh...the laughter and the love. That is what sustains us.


When I told this circle of women that this week was going to especially hard because of a dentist appointment (I have dental phobia) but much more importantly, because of my son, Philip's death anniversary date on September 25th, I have received an outpouring of love and support via text and/or email every single day this week. 


The difference these messages have made in how I'm coping this week are nothing short of amazing. At first, I was hesitant to share my needs with this circle of women. I'm not used to doing that. I don't want to impose on anyone and I've never been one to like a lot of attention. I'm more the quiet one in a group (I'm an INFJ) and used to absorbing everyone else's energy and emotions. I guess I finally felt safe and secure enough to share what I needed without feeling too vulnerable.


I currently am seeing a female physical therapist for a medical condition. She is not only super intelligent in her field and has helped me physically, but she is super compassionate. When I explained to her at my visit today about what happened at my last physician's appointment, she was appalled. She actually told me that she wants to accompany me (if she can rearrange her schedule) to my next physician's appointment (it's a minor procedure) since she knows a bit more about my physiological condition than they do. She wants to be my advocate. Can you believe it?! Talk about going above and beyond the call of duty! I did call the physician's office today and get permission for her to accompany me to the appointment, due to COVID. 


The world is so topsy-turvy right now. COVID, hurricanes and wildfires, the upcoming election, riots and protests, police brutality: all have taken their toll on our mental well-being. Anxiety and depression have sky-rocketed in our country. We all need each other ~ and to meet each other with love and compassion ~ more than ever. 


I am incredibly grateful and humbled by the love of my friends, including the friends I've made here through my blog. 

Women supporting women.
💓

13 comments:

  1. Melanie, I'm thankful that this week was one for your women's circle holding you up in comfort and support. This was such a lovely post, both thoughts and pictures. Your last picture is superb!

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  2. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. This makes my heart so happy for you. I love hearing stories of this. Women encouraging women. GO US! :)

    Sending you big hugs, my friend. Let's grab a chai latte soon!

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  3. Sending you all the love today, my friend. ♥

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  4. You are so right! Our world needs more compassion,love, and support and less hate, fighting, and disinformation. It has been depressing and disheartening for all of us during this stressful time. I am glad you have such a great circle of friends to lean on. I hope we can put a stop to the anger and let acceptance and tolerance start shining through. Thanks for this thoughtful post! I hope happy memories bring you comfort today.

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  5. Thank you for sharing this post about love and friendships.

    Love, hugs and prayers for you today dear Melanie ~ FlowerLady

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  6. I know today is extremely hard. I guess that does not change. I am so glad you have the support you do, Melanie!
    Brenda

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  7. I am so happy you have such a beautiful group of women that give support. There is nothing better than our friends we have in our lives to show love and comfort and joy. I am sorry about Phil's anniversary this week. Being a mom I cannot even imagine my life without my daughters. You are brave and have great strength that could move mountains that you can draw on during these kind of moments in life. Happy you have a good group that supports you. xoxo Kris

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  8. Your physical therapist sounds wonderful. She really is going above and beyond to be an advocate. So good that you have a supportive group of friends. This is a very tough time and we all need each other. Thanks for a lovely post.

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  9. It sounds like you are surrounded by and supported by a lovely group of friends and practitioners. That's wonderful, especially during what must be an impossibly difficult time. Thinking of you, your family and your dear Phil...take care. Hugs...

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  10. I'm so glad to hear you had all that support. I, too, am an INFJ who is usually on the giving end of things and uncomfortable with attention. You've inspired me to try to be willing to share my needs sometime instead of only taking care of everyone else. I hope your appointment goes well. Take care.

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  11. I do always think of you at this time of year dear Melanie. Remembering when you first shared Phil's story and trying to understand how a parent feels losing a child, and how they handle grief year after year. I know it will always be there for you and your family, but being the wonderful people you, Brian and Tim are, you will hopefully find comfort in the good memories, and each year the anniversary date will be a wee bit easier for each of you.

    Take care of special you.
    Hugs - Mary

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  12. Oh Melanie, I can't imagine what that day must be like for you (and many others, I'm sure) but I sure am glad you have a soft place to land with your friends.

    Your physical therapist sounds amazing. It can be so hard to get medical professionals to listen. What a lovely thing for her to do.

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  13. Oh Melanie, I can't imagine what that day must be like for you (and many others, I'm sure) but I sure am glad you have a soft place to land with your friends.

    Your physical therapist sounds amazing. It can be so hard to get medical professionals to listen. What a lovely thing for her to do.

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