Thursday, July 23, 2015


My firstborn son, Philip would've been 27 years old on July 21st.
Some of you know that Philip passed away on September 25, 2009 at the age of 21.
The three of us (me, Brian and Tim) spent the day together and went out to dinner.
We talked a lot about Phil and perhaps what he'd be doing now.

Brian thought perhaps Phil would be an Assistant Manager at the store he was working at before his passing. Tim and I said no; he'd be long gone out of that store. We could see him as a truck driver/merchandiser for a company like Frito-Lay, Pepsi or Budweiser. You know those huge delivery trucks you see on the highway and at grocery stores? Phil actually talked about the possibility of doing that when he worked at Jewel (grocery store chain) at one time.

I asked Tim if he thought Phil would be married by now. He laughed and said, "no way". 

We had a family get-together at my cousin's house this past weekend and had a toast (and the most delicious birthday cake I've ever had...this banana split torte was worth breaking my no-sugar eating plan for this one time) to our family members who were all celebrating birthdays at the end of July (yes, there's quite a few of them!), including Phil. For those of you in the Chicago area, this cake was from Weber's Bakery. I normally don't even like bakery cake, but this one was amazing. They don't use any artificial ingredients and it wasn't sickeningly sweet.

 To read more about Phil, you can click on the "Dedication to Phil" tab at the top of my page.


  1. I'm sending a big hug your way, Melanie. I hope the pain of losing your oldest son becomes a little less painful with each year that passes. I'm sure he was smiling down on the three of you as you tried to guess what he'd be doing now.

    I think I'd let go of my no dairy, no gluten diet for a piece of that birthday cake!

  2. Hugs to all of you. I think it's wonderful to talk about what Phil would be doing now. I wish my husband's parents could talk more freely about their late son and what he'd be like today. He would be turning 40 this year and though I didn't have a chance to meet him, I have some ideas about what might have been. Take care and have a good weekend, Melanie.

  3. This was so sweet---especially getting the family consensus on what Phil would be doing now. Just too awesome and an great way to keep the memories alive.

    Must have been a great cake to get you back on sugar, even for a few bites!!!

    Love to you-

    Jane x

  4. I think it is so wonderful that you talk about Phil and what his life might have been. All too often people who die in tragic circumstances are not spoken of (and I totally get it is a painful thing to discuss). I think each life should be remembered and talked about. Thanks for sharing something so personal with all of us.

  5. My heart goes out to you and your family! The anniversary of losing Abby was 6/21 and then her birthday 7/8. It's been a difficult few weeks and when I feel so down, I tend to isolate so haven't been in blog land much. I think it's wonderful that you talk about him ~ One thing that helps us is remembering all the funny things! :)


  6. The sweetness of this post makes me smile. Such lovely memories and I like how you can think of what might have been. Hugs to you my friend.


  7. Sending you sweet hugs, my friend. I think it is wonderful that you and your family have such wonderful memories and are able to sit down and talk about him together. xo Laura

  8. Melanie, what a sweet, touching post. Being with your family and sharing so many great memories about your son is just beautiful way to remember him. Big hugs to you... :)

  9. Such a lovely way to celebrate your beautiful son. I always like it when friends and family will talk about my mom, who passed away much to soon. I think sometimes people feel it might be too painful, but I love to keep her memory alive and hear her name spoken out loud. Bless you and your family, Melanie.

  10. Oh Melanie, what a beautifully written remembrance here of your dear son. This mother's heart hurts for you. Blessings to all of you as you go on and live each day, treasuring all your family members.

  11. Hi! New follower here. I'm very sorry for your loss. Glad you and your family could reflect lovingly on your son. :)

  12. Hi Melanie, one thing is for sure . . . your Phil would have loved his birthday cake. Yum!
    Have a lovely week.
    Connie :)

  13. A good way to remember and look back, I am sure that Phil will always be in your heart and this is a good way to remember him. Delicious looking cake and a good way to celebrate with a cake for everyone who has a birthday that month. Hugs and all good thoughts to you. Sorry I am so late visiting. xxxx

  14. The ache of losing a child never goes away..also wondering and dreaming about what they'd be doing/achieving is constant in our minds. Remembering is what keeps them close to us....even though far away!

  15. I know how difficult that day must have been for the three of you and I think it's nice that you spent it together remembering Phil.

  16. Your family has a very healthy way of dealing with your grief over time. I'm sure it doesn't get any easier.

  17. I actually read your tribute post to him awhile back and I cried for you and your family. I didn't say anything though, because I wasn't sure what to say. Doesn't "I'm sorry" seem so inadequate sometimes? I am though.

    Happy Birthday to Phil.



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