Tuesday, September 25, 2018

nine years today

(Philip, Brian, Tim ~ around 2003)

Nine years ago today, our "normal" family life as four came to a tragic, abrupt end with the passing of our firstborn son, Philip. As I say every year, there is more about Phil and his story on the Dedication to Phil tab underneath my blog header, if you're so inclined to read it. I've also done some posts about him, if you type in "Phil" in the search box on the right-hand side of my blog.
"I am not without hope, and I know I will see him again someday. But who knows when that day will come, so I've had to learn a lot about grief in these years - or at least learn a lot about how I grieve. I've learned that you don't get to practice how you'll handle something like this....
I've learned that life can be fun again, and I can laugh and enjoy it. At the same time, grief is like a giant block of granite: The sharp edges may have softened with the passing years, but it remains as hard and as heavy as it was the day it first crashed into my life. But I've discovered that sorrow has its own beauty. It brings depth and context to all the blessings in my life."
(Matthew Wahlberg, "What 9 Years Since my Son's Death Have Taught" - Chicago Tribune, Sept 27, 2015)


  1. My heart goes out to you and your family, Melanie. I am sorry you had to experience this type of grief. I can only imagine the loss and sorrow you have dealt with for these past 9 years. My thoughts are with you. Hugs!!

  2. Thinking of you, Brian and Tim as I always do on this day when you remind me that life is never perfect.
    Love each other, think of Phil and the good times you were able to share.
    Hugs - Mary

  3. Been thinking of you and your family this week as I do each year. Much love to you.

  4. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but his death date and my grandma's birth date are one day apart. I like to think that my Grandma (Ella) is with him on his day, and vice versa. I can't imagine how hard this day is for you, and I am honored that you have let me in to your life and Phil's story over the years. Never stop telling it and I won't either. Sending you, Brian, and Tim lots of love.

  5. Even though no one can truly understand the depth of your heartache except for other parents who have lost a child, my heart breaks for you every time I think of Philip. That block of granite, Melanie, how well you put that. We can't always see it but I know it's there. I know because I'm a mother.

    God bless you and all Phillip's family,

  6. Much love and wishing you comfort as this anniversary passes once again.

  7. I don't know quite where you get your courage, but know that I admire you.

  8. So sorry Melanie. I guess it is true that time has a way of letting us cope with the pain and loss but it never goes away. May your son RIP and may you have peace through out this day. I know the anniversary dates are hard one. Prayers.

  9. My heart goes out to you & your family. I understand completely what you are feeling. Next month it will be 23 years since my 16 son died in a school bus/ train accident. Life has gone on but I miss him every day & will forever wonder what he would be like now. Prayers to you.

  10. Sending love and prayers to you, Melanie...xo

  11. Bless you my friend. Sending loving thoughts your way.

  12. I know you think of your son every day, but I'm sure aniversaries are hardest. Thinking of you.


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