shuffling along ~ doing just fine

I've gone over and re-written this blog post several times. I finally decided that instead of ignoring the ugly parts and basically saying, "Oh, I'm doing fine." 
"Everything is just fine."
(the most ambiguous word in the English language), I'd be open and honest about how things are really going. 

Not that I am not truthful on my blog; just that sometimes it's easier to just paint a pretty picture and not leave yourself open and vulnerable. Well, hell, I'm vulnerable and at the mercy of others after having surgery anyway, so I may as well go all out. And be forewarned: this is a wordy post. Get comfortable.

Mind you, I do not want this to be a whiny, looking-for-sympathy post either. What I'm going through after knee surgery is nothing compared to....well, a lot of things. My several girlfriends that have cancer right now (mostly breast; one uterine) immediately come to mind. So does my cousin who recently had a kidney transplant.

It's now six days after knee surgery and I'm pretty much bored out of my gourd. I'm still on crutches, so have to rely on Brian to fix me food, help me shower, bring me a book or magazine (you can't carry anything when you're on crutches - though one time I carried a book between my teeth - you get inventive when you're on crutches) and do the housework and laundry. And, of course, since I can't drive - heck, I can't even get out my front door because of steps - Brian has to do the grocery shopping and other errands. Being at the mercy of another - even your husband - sure is humbling.

Since my leg has to be elevated a lot due to swelling, I spend a lot of time in bed surrounded by kitties and reading material. I've watched so much HGTV and Food Network to where if I never see another episode of Love It or List It, it won't be too soon. I've even watched the Price is Right several times. Talk about desperate! At least I'm not resorting to soap operas. Yet.

 I thought about starting a new series on Netflix, but nothing appealed to me. Plus, while the TV is on, I'm not really watching anyway. I'm usually reading or on my laptop at the same time. A Netflix series would actually require me to pay attention. So maybe lying around doing nothing sounds dreamy for one day, but after that...boring. Let me tell you, it sure makes you realize how "freeing" being mobile truly is. 

The first few days were rough. I had a fair amount of pain and one evening had severe nausea to the point where I hyperventilated. I'm assuming the nausea was from the pain killer (Norco). Another nasty side effect of pain killers and general anesthesia is constipation. No one talks about that - except for your doctor. They told me ahead of time to take Dulcolax. Which I did - three times a day. And still, it didn't help. I upped my fiber and roughage by eating prunes, apples, salad, flax and chia seeds and extra veggies. Still didn't help. It took five days before things umm..."moved along". Funny thing is, I've had two previous surgeries and this hadn't happened to me before, so I wasn't prepared for this little side effect. Just hoping this info helps someone else out there!
*Later edit: forgot to mention that drinking a lot of water helps, and so does coffee.

 I don't have pain anymore; just a lot of pressure, swelling and "uncomfortableness", as I call it. I get up every hour to walk around the house on my crutches. I'm able to put weight on my foot/leg to the point where I'm hoping to graduate to a cane by Friday when I see the doctor for my post-op visit. Then I'll be starting physical therapy next week. I've been doing a couple of very gentle PT exercises at home in the meantime.

Brian doesn't like to cook - it's just not his forte. But, we gotta eat. And there's only so much take-out we can rely on unless we want to eat unhealthy every day - which we don't. One dish he can handle is meatloaf. He did have a little help with suggestions from me, but he pretty much made it on his own by using both ground beef and pork, onions and celery, eggs, panko bread crumbs, Worcestershire sauce, parsley, seasoned salt and pepper. He then made a sauce for topping using organic ketchup (no high fructose corn syrup!), mustard, vinegar and a little brown sugar. He glazed the top of the meatloaves, wrapped them in bacon, then added another layer of glaze. He also made baked sweet potatoes. Dinner was delicious! PS - Brian's been pretty much a saint; although he's had his crabby moments, which I don't blame him. He's probably looking forward to going back to work. ;-)

Another thing I've learned is, that you will be surprised who checks in with you, who sends cards, who offers to visit. What's more surprising is, those whom you would expect to, but don't. I remember from other difficult circumstances in my life - the worst of course, being the passing of my oldest son, Philip back in 2009 - that the most thoughtful, generous people were the unassuming ones.

When Brian went to Trader Joe's a few days ago, my favorite employee sent this bouquet of flowers home with Brian for me. He had remembered that I was having surgery and actually asked Brian how I was doing. Isn't that incredibly thoughtful?

And yesterday, I received two cards in the mail (one from a blogger friend), which totally made my day.

This book also arrived in the mail, but it was a present from myself. ;-) I'm sure most of you are familiar with the author, Elizabeth Berg. If you follow her on Facebook, you will know that she posts uplifting snippets of everyday life. Posts that make you smile and give a little pick-me-up. There were several FB readers that asked her to compile some of these short essays into a book. This is the result. I haven't read the book yet, but I plan to today. Even the cover makes me smile. I have a feeling this book would be a great gift for anyone who is feeling down or is physically ill. 

Now go out and make someone happy, starting with yourself. And when asked how you're doing, remember that the word "fine" is not in your vocabulary.