Friday, March 31, 2017

call me old-fashioned

I was recently invited to a bridal shower. The invitation didn't specify where the couple was registered for gifts, so I asked the mother of the bride-to-be if they were registered anywhere. She answered no; that the couple was hoping to receive money to go towards their honeymoon or for putting towards a house.

Call me old-fashioned, but I was taken aback. Brian and I only took a weekend honeymoon to Wisconsin - because we simply couldn't afford a week-long honeymoon to Mexico or the Caribbean (or whatever other popular honeymoon destination). We wouldn't have dreamed of asking anyone to contribute $$ towards that - or for a down payment on a house!

I thought the whole purpose of a bridal shower was to "shower" the bride-to-be with gifts. And how boring would it be as a guest at the shower, to sit and watch someone open...envelopes?



I also thought that giving money to a couple was the standard gift when you attended the wedding


I understand that a lot of young couples live together before they are married - as is the case with this couple. So they probably already have everything they need as far as the traditional bath towels, kitchenware, sheets and a Crockpot. But, there are so many other creative ideas out there: you can pamper the bride-to-be with a spa basket or sexy lingerie to wear on her honeymoon. There are couple's gifts such as monogrammed robes, pillowcases and beach towels. I've even heard of showers where couples have registered for things such as tools and garden accessories.


(Pillowcases sold by ZCreateDesign)

All this made me think of my bridal shower. Or rather, showers. I had three of them. This was back in 1984 - when showers were held in church basements and homes, with food prepared by family and friends. Yes, my first shower was in our church basement. There were wedding bells and hearts hanging from the ceiling, as well as some childhood photos of me and Brian. We received gifts such as Tupperware, bath towels, mixing bowls, silverware, a coffee maker, a quiche dish, dish towels and pot holders, salt and pepper shakers, and a punch bowl set. And, of course, a Crockpot.


Our second shower was held at my parent's house and was given by my sister. She made sandwiches, salads, cheese puffs, and dips to go along with the veggie tray. Brian and I had been out shopping and were surprised by coming back to my house full of relatives from both our families. The small living and dining room was packed, with ladies sitting all around on folding chairs and the piano bench. And the gifts kept coming to help us set up our first apartment and start life together as Mr. and Mrs.: sheet sets, dishes, an electric knife, canisters, a spice rack, cookie jar, knife set, toaster oven, picnic basket, bathroom scale, a kitchen clock.

And a honeymoon negligee from my mom. Clearly, my young cousin was amused. ;-)


Our third shower was given by my coworkers. This one was actually held in a restaurant because it was after work hours. The hit of the party was a book called, "The Wedding Night." I don't remember what it was about, only that it was inappropriately hilarious.

My boss read a poem called, "Ode to Products." When a product name came up such as "Dawn" or "Pledge", someone would hold up the product - and then we got to take all these things home with us. So much fun.

As a side note, I can't believe how young (and thin) we look! I guess we were. I had just turned 22 and Brian 24.


Lest you think I have a fantastic memory with what gifts we received at our wedding showers over 32 years ago, here's where I got all that information. Are these keepsakes even available anymore? I loved going through this book and reading my handwritten notes about my showers and the wedding, who attended, what gifts we received, and looking at old photos. And I can hand this keepsake down to Tim someday. Hopefully, he'll appreciate it!


Speaking of showers, that's all it's done here for a million  five, six, seven? days straight. The only clear day we'll have in the extended forecast is tomorrow. So this old-fashioned couple plans on taking advantage of that and getting out of here and doing something fun.

Happy weekend!

23 comments:

  1. Call me old-fashioned, but it seems a bit crass to me to ask for cash.
    Brenda

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  2. Oh my gosh, Melanie, these pictures could have been taken at my showers. Dan and I got married the same year as you and Brian. I guess I'm old-fashioned, too, because I loved receiving all the household goodies (and we sure needed them). We had the same tradition, that cash was a wedding gift. I have a really hard time with young couples requesting money to help pay for the honeymoon. Good grief.

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  3. Your blast from the past brought back memories of my own bridal showers complete with sandwich loaf and silly games. I love the photos of the 2 of you!

    I agree that it doesn't seem fitting to hope for cash for your bridal shower. No opening of gifts? It's a different generation, that's for sure.

    Have a great weekend!

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  4. I love the old fashion way! I dare you buy them a crockpot! :-))

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  5. Cute post! I'm old fashion also and just think asking for cash is inappropriate. Like you said, so many young people today are living together and have all of the basic stuff. But, I still think a wedding and/or baby shower should be gifts - not envelopes.

    Judy

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  6. Ok, so very timely...we have several showers coming up and the registries are either nonexistent (like yours), bought out by the time the invite was sent (because there were only several items on it) or listing only very expensive items. Boy oh boy how things have changed!

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  7. I completely understand where you're coming from. I guess I am old-fashioned too. I tend to think of something useful from a registry for the shower and money for the wedding. Things are so different nowdays. Your showers were like a walk down memory lane. Sounds a lot like my showers in 1981 :).
    I do hope you and Tim get out there and do something fun this weekend. Be sure and tell us all about it.

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  8. Your bridal showers sound a lot like ours. They were fun with friends and lots of laughter.
    I worked at a department store and my coworkers gave me shower, first they had me open a bunch gifts that were actually damaged merchandise from the store. After all the laughing and jokes, they gave me real gifts to open.
    I even kept and used some of the broken gifts a long time, like the nonstick skillet missing it's handle.
    I just remember it was so fun.
    Thanks for taking me a trip down memory lane.

    I'm also not a fan of the new ways.

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  9. I love that pic of you and Brian - I was also 22 when I got married, but long before 1984.

    Have fun at the shower!

    I just have to add this story for weird showers. One of my daughter's oldest friends (they met at 6 years old) dated her now husband for 19 years - they were married in 2012. No one expected them to have children and were surprised to hear that they were finally pregnant- had the baby last week. Anyway, she was less than enthusiastic about becoming a mother so at her baby shower guests were asked to come 1 hour before the mama to be. They were told to put their gift in a spare bedroom and told that they could not say the word baby at all during the shower so the girl wouldn't have to be reminded that she was pregnant! I wasn't at the shower, but I was told that it was incredibly awkward.

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  10. I also was "showered" multiple times way back in 1981. My grandmother gave me a Tupperware shower that was mostly aunts, cousins, and good family friends, then a friend of Greg's mom had one with their friends, and finally my bridesmaids gave one for high school friends. So much fun!
    Wouldn't it be nice to have a "we're still married but we need new towels" shower about every 10 years? :)

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  11. These photos bring back memories for me also. Those were fun and sweet times. It is so different now for many couples but asking for money just doesn't go down well for me either. I hope the rain stops and you can enjoy Spring soon!

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  12. What a cute photo of you and Brian, you are both so adorable and yes young. I have a lot of questions about gift giving celebrations these days. It just seems like the fun and excitement have been replaced with a commercialism. The other thing is I have gone to so many in the last few years were there was no thank you . . . not verbally or with a thank you card. What's with that?
    Our honeymoon was a weekend in Seattle, it's a 3 hour drive :)

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  13. Hi Mel...
    Thanks for the walk down memory lane!
    I was 22 when I got married too.
    Nowadays they sure do things differently eh?
    I remember I had 2 showers...one given by my soon to be MIL and my boyfriends Aunt...as they were Polish, the shower was awesome! and the food delish!
    Did you get to wear a "HAT" made with a paper plate, and the bows from your gifts?
    The other shower, was given by a few of my Mom's friends...They did a "Presentation" shower. Where the guests all bring a small gift, and give money, and they buy a bunch of stuff that you need. I think I got a complete set of dishes and many kitchen items.
    Ahhhh....the good old days!
    Same crap weather here...
    enjoy your weekend..
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

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  14. Wow, I'm with you. The last two showers I was invited to were in poor taste. The first one was for an attorney and a doctor who wanted money for a Hawaiian honeymoon. The second one was for someone who had two children with the new husband and they had been living together for 9 years. The children were raised on welfare. Everything on the registry was so high-end that it was ridiculous. Couch pillows: 200.00 each, that kind of thing. I send 50.00 gifts to both showers along with my regrets.

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  15. Married in 1969 and had a fun old-fashioned shower. Money was given at the wedding.

    Loved seeing your photos. Bless your hearts.

    Love & hugs ~ FlowerLady

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  16. We were also 22 and married in 1984. Such fun times! We had 4 showers and truly appreciated every single gift as our budget was tiny .... we married for love!! I've also had a hard time with couples now asking for money. Awkward and not very personable. Hope this changes back but doubt it will will. P.S. We JUST replaced our crockpot after 32 years of constant use. Fingers crossed, this one lasts as long. X Chy

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  17. I agree with you money, although needed is so impersonal. I had a very, very small wedding and no shower. I detest being the center of attention and we already had everything we needed. My boss made me have a baby shower, it was fun and I ended up having a great time. Hugs to you.

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  18. Oh my goodness. I just don't understand. I have a friend that was invited to an engagement party, wedding shower and wedding that were all within 3 weeks. The selfie generation I guess but as the mother I would like to think I've raised my children better than that and would correct that in a heartbeat if they even thought of doing that. And as a guest, I would completely ignore it and since they didn't register I'd just get them whatever I wanted them to have. I'm probably in the minority though! ;)

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  19. Hi Melanie, I wanted to stop by to tell you how much I appreciate your prayers for my surgery last Monday. Diana posted a prayer request on her blog and I am full of gratitude! I am slowly recovering but wanted you to know how very much I appreciate you thinking of me. :-) Looking forward to following your blog and getting to know you better! Have a wonderful week!

    Blessings,
    Jill

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  20. Good God. The world has definitely changed. Not only are they asking for cash at these types of events, but now they make up events. My sister-in-law asked for a "push present" when she gave birth to my nephew. You know what I got? A BABY.

    Anywho... I loved seeing all the pictures from your showers. You two are so cute :)

    xo,
    rue

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  21. This reminded of a wedding that I attended a few years back and the thank you cards never came :) Just a thank you on Facebook. I was rather amazed.

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  22. I also had three showers, very much like yours. This was long before the days of Pinterest, so our showers were pretty simple. I remember helping my mother make little token gifts so that everyone had a "prize". She knitted covers for colorful hangers, and I still use them to this day for hanging more delicate items. Now that was a useful gift!

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  23. I got tons of great stuff at my showers (3 of them and also 1984). We were living together already but the stuff we had was all second hand stuff. I was just thinking about one of those showers this morning. It was a shower that Bill's mom and sisters planned. There was a raccoon in the backyard so the my future sisters in law fed it a plate of deviled eggs that our landlady had brought as an appetizer. She was livid and I still felt mortified about it this morning when I was wondering if I should make deviled eggs for Easter. When it comes to money for a shower, I agree.

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