Sunday, September 25, 2016

seven years

Today marks the seven year anniversary date of my oldest son, Philip's passing. He was only 21 years old when he passed away on September 25, 2009. Brian and I had just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in San Francisco, CA and were still feeling wonderful from our vacation ~ and then our son was taken from us just 10 days later.

What more can I say right now except that our hearts are forever broken and that Phil's loss has left a lifetime of grief, but yet also beautiful memories not only for us, but for our family and friends, too. It's amazing how many lives are affected by a young person's death. It really has a ripple affect. To this day, I still hear from people that knew Phil and they tell me how his passing affected them.

If you haven't read about Phil and his story, you can click on "Dedication to Phil" tab at the top of my page. 

{Phil with sunburned nose in Cancun, Mexico at age 15.
 He had such a sweet, beautiful face.}

"I am not without hope, and I know I will see him again someday. But who knows when that day will come, so I've had to learn a lot about grief in these years - or at least learn a lot about how I grieve. I've learned that you don't get to practice how you'll handle something like this....

I've learned that life can be fun again, and I can laugh and enjoy it. At the same time, grief is like a giant block of granite: The sharp edges may have softened with the passing years, but it remains as hard and as heavy as it was the day it first crashed into my life. But I've discovered that sorrow has its own beauty. It brings depth and context to all the blessings in my life."
(Matthew Wahlberg, "What 9 Years Since my Son's Death Have Taught"
Chicago Tribune, Sept 27, 2015)

21 comments:

  1. I am so sad when I read about your loss...I simply can't fathom it. You know that my sisters each lost sons, they were the same age but died about five years apart. My sisters were so broken I almost could't recognize them for months on end. I think you have a lot of strength even as your grieve every single day. I simply don't know what I'd do if I lost my husband or one of my children. Can't even think of it.

    As I wrote on FB, you are amazing. Keep being upbeat with your life. We never forget but we move forward. ;-D

    Jane

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. No parent should ever have to deal with the loss of a child. No matter their age or how it happened. It's the worst horror imaginable. My prayers are with your family.

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  3. I know that you will never get over losing Phil, but your family seems to be quite content with one another and that is a blessing.

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  4. Thinking of you today and hoping that you get through the day in the best way that you can. It is important to remember and share and that way you keep someone alive in your heart forever. xx

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  5. My dear friend, I am so sorry for this horrible anniversary to cross your path yet another time. I can't imagine the depths of your sorrow and grief, and the loss of such a wonderful young man who had so much potential. Addiction, illness, a sudden accident it is all such a horrible loss for a young person and for those who are left behind to deal with it all. My parents lost my brother at 44, he was a Father so at least they had his children to help with the loss. They never got over his death I am sure of that. I am sending you a big hug, not that it helps but I want you to know I am thinking about you.
    Meredith

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  6. The loss will never leave you but the memories of your sweet son will also be with you. I hope they bring comfort.

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  7. The loss of a loved one never really leaves us. As the quote says, it softens, but it is always there. Perhaps not a rock, but a little pebble that we carry with us in our heart that sometimes causes a blockage and that's when we know we need to let the emotions out and the tears flow. Sending you lots of love and hugs and blessings.

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  8. Sending you and your family hugs and love ♥

    summerdaisycottage.blogspot.com

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  9. I am sorry for your loss, Melanie. I admire you for sharing your story so that others can learn and feel supported. My daughter came through her struggle with drugs, thank God, but it was a long, dark time for us and life will never really be the same for the damage it did to her life.

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  10. Melanie, I am thinking of you and your family today, my friend and sending you hugs across the miles.

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  11. Dear Melanie ~ I am so sorry for your loss. That is a wonderful picture of Phil.

    You are an inspiration to me.

    I love the quote you ended with. Thank you for sharing.

    Love, hugs & prayers ~ FlowerLady

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  12. I know about Phil but I also know that it doesn't get any easier :(

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  13. I am sending prayers and love your way. That quote from the Chicago Tribune is beautiful.

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  14. I know the loss of your beautiful son will stay with you, Melanie...I am sending prayers and loving thoughts for comfort...xoxo

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  15. Dear Melanie - I'm just home from Kenya and will try to catch up soon - however did just see this post and want you to know, although I'm late here, I'm thinking of you and know Phil's story. May your good memories of the years you did have together always remain strong and be of comfort.
    Hugs - Mary

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  16. That quote at the end explains things so well. I do admire how inspiring you are to show us that one can grieve, never forget and keep on living at the same time.

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  17. I can't fathom what this kind of loss must be like Melanie. You are clearly an amazing woman.

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  18. As I've told you before, I only have a glimmer of understanding about a loss this great from time spent with my grandmother who lost her son at 18 in WWII. She said that the pain never lessen, and always felt like it just happened yesterday. Seventy years later, his sister could not read the letters her brother had sent home. The power of love is everlasting.

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  19. Melanie,
    Sending tender thoughts and heartfelt feelings for you this past week and upcoming days.
    You are a beacon of strength and courage and greatly respected and honored.
    Sending you hugs.

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  20. Crazy coincidence?!?
    Matt Walberg is my nephew-in-law :)
    The son he lost was a twin whose twin brother survived a very premature birth!

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I read and appreciate every comment!