Monday, May 9, 2016

joy, pride, sorrow ~ all part of weekend celebrations

What a joyous occasion we celebrated Saturday evening: Tim's BFA Art Show!

Tim had three of his photography pieces in the show. Here's his artist statement.

Tim had framed his work with glass, so I apologize for the glare. I wish you could see these pieces in person. My phone camera doesn't even begin to capture the beauty in his amazing work.

To say that I am proud of my son is an understatement. He is talented, smart, hard-working, and most of all, a truly genuine, loving young man. He has overcome some major life obstacles in pursuing his degree. I'll talk more about that next week after his graduation ceremony.

And then Sunday was Mother's Day. I have mixed emotions about this day. While I am grateful to still have my mother on this earth, and I'm a mother myself, Mother's Day is always hard for those of us who have lost a child.

I'm not a big fan of these kinds of holidays anyway. I think they put a lot of pressure and expectation on both sides. 

Yesterday afternoon, out of the blue, I received a private message from a friend in Canada whom I rarely speak to. She's had a messy life and isn't online much. But somehow - on Mother's Day - she thought of me. And took the time to send me a private message to tell me so. I was so touched. She was the only one - besides one of my best friends - that took the time and effort to contact me yesterday.

Backing up a little, on Friday Brian had said that he wanted to go out and pick up a little something for me for Mother's Day. Knowing the chain stores in this area, I told him to please not waste his money on some last-minute piece of cheap jewelry from one of those places. He asked why not and I told him things like that don't mean anything to me. (There's the expectations thing on the other know that their wife and/or mother expect a gift, so they think going out at the last minute and buying something frivolous gives them brownie points.) I hinted that I liked plants and flowers. We'd been talking about sprucing up the area in front of our neighbor's fence - as talked about in my May 2nd post, in case you missed it. A couple of you had suggested a trellis and I had nixed that idea at first because I thought a trellis would have to lean against our neighbor's fence. 

Brian called me from the garden center and asked how I'd like a trellis for the fence area! I laughed and told him a couple of my blogger friends had suggested that. He said he found a metal trellis that was curved. It wouldn't have to lean against the fence. He also picked out a couple of clematis plants. 

I hope these plants do well. I tried growing clematis years ago and it died. This area gets at least six hours of sun every day, plus I've been watering. Rain is moving in tonight and into tomorrow, so no watering from me will be needed.

On Saturday evening before Tim's art show, the three of us met up for dinner with my mom, sister and brother-in-law. I gave my mom her Mother's Day gift then, since I wasn't seeing her on Sunday. Like me, Mom loves succulents and pretty dishes and pottery for use as planters. So I made her a pretty arrangement.

 I lucked out in finding the vintage planter in my newest favorite shop. 

A weekend full of emotions, high and low. Today's a new day and I'm taking time to breathe and find peace in the stillness after the flurry of weekend activity. How about you?


  1. Dear Sweet Melanie - I'm sure all holidays are met with such mixed emotions. I still think of our sweet Landen on all holidays and wonder what he would have been like and what he would have done on these special days. You are so lucky to have Tim accomplishing so much with his talents and a sweet hubby who went to the trouble of finding something you really wanted. John and I had this thing where we didn't just go out and buy something to have a gift for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. If we wanted something along the way, we would get it for each other and know that it was something the other one wanted.

    Have a wonderful week.


  2. My heart goes out to you, Melanie. That would be my greatest fear, losing a child, the greatest hurt. Of course this holiday must be so difficult, even without the expectations we all project on to it.

    Congratulations to Tim, his photography looks amazing. I know you're so proud of him. And the trellis and clematis are so much better than another piece of jewelry, aren't they? Sometimes husbands need gentle hints.

    Love to you,

  3. Its a hard holiday for many! I'm glad you do it your way. Your son's photography is amazing. Very happy for all of you. I love the little planter you made your Mom. I hope you have a good week.

  4. Hi Melanie, Your post touch my heart in many ways.
    Congratulations to Tim, for his show and for graduation.
    Good luck on your clematis. I planted three at my old house and one took off and grew like crazy, one took years to get started and do good and one didn't make it. I'm a hit and miss gardener . . . why do some things grow and some not, especially when they are the same plants in the same yards?

  5. That is a lovely trellis, and those two clematis are going to fill it up quick. They need sun on the leaves and stems, but cool, moist shade for their roots. I try to keep the base of the plant mulched well. Don't prune old growth until new growth appears. Enjoy!
    Congratulations to Tim! I wish him much success!

  6. Congratulations to Tim for all the hard work he's put into his schooling and art! My heart goes out to you, Melanie, whenever I think of your loss and how bittersweet each celebration must be for you. Your husband found the perfect gift for his plant loving wife, and I hope the clematis thrives in that spot outside your bedroom window. Take care.

  7. Tim did a really wonderful job with everything. Congratulations to him on his upcoming graduation. I'm sorry your day was so bittersweet, Melanie. I understand somewhat, given my mother-in-law's feelings, which are similar. I'm glad your husband found such a perfect gift for you. I think it will be beautiful. Hugs to you. I hope you've had some peaceful moments so far this week.

  8. Tim is very talented...I know it must make you feel very proud to see what he has accomplished! I know it must be a very bittersweet time for you, and I agree society does put pressure on us with holidays. The clematis and the new trellis are so lovely...I hope it grows beautifully for you! And I love your succulents, too! xo

  9. What a beautiful blog. I knew the weekend was hard for you and as our family took great pride in Tim for his hard work and his God-given talent, I think I can safely same that our hearts felt the hole of not having Philip with us. He was so proud of his brother. I love you. I also love my planter. Good to have two daughters that know their mother loves pretty growing things. Although I would be happy with nothing but hugs and kisses. Hallmark Holiday!

  10. I'm sorry you had to endure such pain in your life, sweet friend. I can't imagine losing one of my children. So proud of Tim, his photos look amazing! What a talented young man he is! And Brian did really good with the clematis and trellis. It's exactly what I would have planted on that fence!! Hugs to you, Melanie. xo

  11. Oh I love that planter and its color! What gorgeous photos / of course you are proud of his art and skills! I know that you still miss a child every day but some days it hits harder out of the blue, and then holidays as well. ( My DIL lost a baby at four months a few years ago and she'll never get over it. Of course no parent, including you, will. ) As to your gift of the trellis that was a perfect one! Smart guy! :)

  12. Hi Melanie,
    It is such a monumental event to lose a child that I think people are uncertain of speaking about it. Your two friends that said they were thinking of you said all that can be said, I think. I know from being close to my grandmother that there is no other grief to compare to it. I am glad you have such good friends, a talented son, a good husband and many people who admire you. I wish, after reading this post, that I had been considerate enough to talk to my grandmother about Mother's Day without her boy.

  13. Congratulations to Tim on his wonderful show!! That is a great achievement and his three pieces look incredible! A real artist!! I wrote today on my blog about my own difficulties with mothers day and while nothing at all as hard as your own, I know that it isn't always an easy day for everyone, but I am glad that you are able to make the best of it and I think that Tim's gift to you is really wonderful! He is a really lovely man and a credit to you!

  14. I didn't know that your son was a photographer/artist. You should be proud.
    Your husband did well with the trellis.
    I love what you made for your mother. Beautiful dish.
    Mother's Day has to be hard. So sorry I can't even imagine.

  15. Your son is very talented, it sounds like a wonderful show. Mother's Day is a tough day I think,I would just as soon do away with it. I know that makes me a grouch!
    Glad you were spoiled, the trellis was a great idea.

  16. Your arrangement against the neighbour's fence is lovely. You might want to protect the foot of the clematis. They don't like to have the sun directly on their part that is just out of the soil. I use broken terra cota contenants.

  17. new to your blog, and just loving it! Your son IS very talented, and I hope the trellis works out for you; it's very pretty!

  18. Melanie,
    You have been on my mind so much this past week and a half.
    I am so proud and happy for your family and Tim! I saw some of the graduation photos on FB, he is so talented, capable and thriving!
    I am sure you will write a post about it-but I just had to stop by and say hello.
    I know this was a difficult Holiday for you, and I agree it does put too much pressure on us all.

  19. Your gardens are beautiful. Regarding the clematis, they like to have cool "feet" so if you mulch or plant something low growing at the base, such as hosta, it may do better.


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